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  Amanda had already locked the car doors. She knew what was coming and she braced herself for it. He didn’t get his way, so now Gouker would make her and her daughter pay for it. As the pounding became louder and louder, Amanda turned to her daughter and squeezed her hand. She told her that she was going to try to calm Gouker down and that the girl should not leave the car. This was not the first time Amanda saw that glint in Gouker’s eyes and she started to get nervous. He couldn’t be reasoned with when he acted that way and she knew her best bet to prevent an incident of violence was to contact the police to remove Gouker from the premises.12

  Amanda slid from the driver’s seat and took off around the side of the house toward the back door with Gouker in quick pursuit. As she reached the side of the home, she felt Gouker’s hands on her hair. Grasping a huge chunk, he jerked her backwards and then pushed her forward into the house. Amanda caught herself as she hit the house’s exterior and pulled herself back to an upright position. She darted away again, intent on getting into the home and calling the police.

  She heard the door slam behind her as she made her way inside the house and fled toward her bedroom, but she immediately heard the door reopen as Gouker entered behind her. He grabbed her again, aggressively shoving her forward and then backing her against the wall. She begged him to stop because he was hurting her.

  But he just grasped her tighter and pressed up against her, pushing her tightly against the wall. They both heard the back door open again. They looked up to see her daughter standing in the doorway, her eyes round as she saw what Gouker was doing to her mother. Gouker looked back at Amanda. For an instant, Gouker clutched Amanda’s shirt a little tighter. Then he loosened and dropped his grip. Turning, he nonchalantly strode out the back door without a word.

  Amanda called the police and grasped her daughter’s hand tightly, pulling her toward the back door. Sticking her head out slowly, she looked both ways for any sign of Gouker. She didn’t see him. She and her daughter silently tiptoed around the corner of the house. There was a long blue rod lying in the driveway. It was the tool used to prop up the hood on the vehicle. She picked it up for protection and she and her daughter dashed quickly across the street and crouched behind their neighbor’s home, hiding and waiting for help to arrive.13

  After that incident, it was a while before Amanda saw Gouker again. The thought of how scared her daughter looked the day Gouker had attacked Amanda seemed to make her feel awful and she probably was aware that none of them deserved to live like this. It wasn’t fair to the kids, so she tried to move on.

  However, Gouker wouldn’t let her. He kept calling, begging to see her, and she was almost afraid to tell him no. It is easy to underestimate the pull of a relationship plagued by domestic violence. Gouker and Amanda’s dance was a classic, textbook example of domestic violence and the cycle of brutality that is present in such relationships. Someone who has not lived in that situation may be unable to understand how Amanda could continue to place herself and her children in jeopardy by staying in a relationship with Gouker. However, Amanda seemed to feel like she had no choice in the matter.

  Amanda wasn’t the only recipient of Gouker’s manipulation during this time period. Over the preceding months, Gouker had complied with the demands of Child Protective Services and the family court. On March 24, 2011, the court awarded temporary custody of Little Josh to Gouker and Little Josh moved. However, he wouldn’t be residing at Amanda’s home as Child Protective Services and the court believed. Instead, he bounced around the neighborhood, staying mostly at Gouker’s cousin Cassi’s home. There was a dining room area on the first floor that was converted to a bedroom for Josh, with a pallet on the floor where he slept.14

  Josh was stunned when he learned that his father had gained custody of him. It was something that he never anticipated could happen and his foster parents were similarly shocked. Little Josh had enjoyed some of his early visits with his dad. He was able to see old friends and he tried to get to know his father better, but that was a far cry from actually having to move in with Gouker. He knew there was a court date on March 24th, but it floored him when his foster parents informed him after attending court that day that he would be moving in with his father. He had never lived apart from his sister and he was anxious about leaving her. However, he knew he needed to give it a chance since the court had made its decision, so he packed up his bags and settled in with his father.

  Gouker was not the caring father he had pretended to be for the court.

  Child Protective Services missed the signs of Gouker’s mistreatment of Josh and Trey as did the Division of Probation and Parole. Gouker was not living at the address given to either office and he was continually partaking in alcohol and illegal substances, both of which are prohibited when a person is on parole.

  Prior to Gouker regaining custody, Josh had been a good student in Advanced Placement classes who rarely missed a day of high school. Once he moved in with his father, Josh quit the wrestling team. He started missing large blocks of school days and his grades suffered. He fell behind in the Advanced Placement classes that he’d worked so hard to enter. Gouker didn’t seem to care. Anyone who paid any attention should have seen that this child was in trouble. But no one came to his aid. He simply fell through the cracks and was left to spiral out of control in the custody of his father.

  According to the National Coalition for Child Protection Reform, Child Protective Services is overwhelmed by the amount of cases it encounters: “They often make bad decisions in both directions—leaving some children in dangerous homes, even as more children are taken from homes that are safe or could be made safe with the right kinds of services…So they make even more mistakes in both directions. That is almost always the real explanation for the horror-story cases that make headlines.”15

  Because of how overwhelmed caseworkers become by the number of children in foster care, whether they need to be there or not, CPS often either removes children from homes from which they should not be removed or they leave children in circumstances no child should endure. In Little Josh’s case, he was removed from a caring foster family, the Walshes, and placed with a recently released felon who had a history of abuse.

  Joshua was forced once again to re-acclimate to life in new surroundings. It was something he had done countless times before, but this time was different. For the first time in his life, he was not under the same roof as his sister and that was hard for him. He knew she was well taken care of, but he still missed seeing the bubbly little girl every day. He spent a lot of nights at his cousin’s house. She seemed nice enough but she was basically a stranger to Josh.

  As Little Josh tried to make a home for himself, his father came and went as he pleased. Josh was left to his own devices and he spent a lot of time bouncing back and forth between Amanda’s home, Cassi’s home and the homes of friends in the neighborhood. Gouker was focused on reintegrating himself into Amanda’s life and seemed to prioritize spending time with her over spending time with his child. Gouker was happy to let Little Josh fend for himself as long as he knew he could assert control over him when he wanted to.

  His father was an intimidating man, so Joshua tried not to say much. He could not express his real feelings to Gouker for fear of angering the man. He couldn’t help but notice that his father had a temper, especially when it came to Amanda. He witnessed several altercations between the two and he wanted no part of it. He focused on keeping to himself and staying out of his father’s way.16

  During this time, although he used Amanda’s house as his address, Gouker was not faithful to Amanda. Even when he was living in her home, he kept contact with several other women.

  Trey worked a shift at the fast-food restaurant on May 8, 2011. After work, Amanda picked him up and Trey realized that he had left some items at his dad’s house that he wanted to take to his mother’s place for the week. Amanda stopped by Terry Zwicker’s home to retrieve those items and Trey ran into the house to do so. Terry a
nd his son spoke briefly about the upcoming fishing trip that was scheduled for the following weekend and Trey hugged his dad and left.

  At this time, Gouker was beginning to worm his way back into Amanda’s life and after a brief hiatus they had begun working things out in an attempt to reunite. They planned a cookout at Amanda’s that evening, throwing some hot dogs and hamburgers on the grill and inviting some of the neighbors over to the home. It was a cookout to celebrate Mother’s Day.

  Trey sat by Amanda’s side for most of the evening even though many of the neighborhood boys, including Josh Young, were roaming the neighborhood together and playing basketball. Amanda encouraged Trey to go with his friends if he wanted to, but he insisted that he wanted to spend time with her since it was Mother’s Day.17 Trey was becoming increasingly independent. He worked hard in school and even made his own money working at only fourteen years old. He had a lot of friends and spent enough time with them. It was nice for him to celebrate with Amanda, especially on a day as special as Mother’s Day.

  Although Gouker refused to work himself, he began interfering with Amanda’s job. Amanda had now worked at the fast-food restaurant for over seventeen years. She began the job as a teenager and was so happy with it that when Trey became old enough, she recommended that he begin working there as well. It was nice to work with her son and a group of coworkers that had been there with her for many years. Over that time, she had worked her way up from cashier to general manager.

  All types of people visited the location and it was easy to stay busy there. Through the job, she came into contact with a variety of people and, being the conscientious and dedicated worker that she was, Amanda was always friendly. She was attached to the job and derived a great amount of pride from it. Working at the fast-food place had helped her to save the money to purchase her home. She was grateful to have the job and for the relationships she fostered while working there.

  Gouker was not as appreciative. Although he had been living rent-free in her home on and off throughout the preceding months, he was not contributing financially. He was becoming increasingly controlling when it came to Amanda. He did not want her speaking to other people without him and he did not like her working and being away from him for long hours.

  On the morning of May 9, 2011, he began to telephone Amanda incessantly as she attempted to perform the duties of her job. Gouker had repeatedly attempted to persuade her to stop working at the restaurant and he made her feel guilty when Amanda did go to work. Her life became a living hell because of his tendency to call both her cell and work phone repeatedly. Amanda was pushed by Gouker to the breaking point that day, so she abruptly quit the job she’d held for so long. It was devastating for Amanda, but she didn’t feel like she had a choice.18

  As she settled into her routine that evening, they decided to have another cookout as a way to lift her spirits. As she began preparing food in the kitchen, Amanda’s supervisor called her to check in. It was not like Amanda to make such a hasty decision and her boss was worried. She wanted to set up a meeting for the following day so they could talk about Amanda coming back to work and Amanda agreed, recognizing that her decision to quit was based mostly on trying to yield to Gouker’s demands. She hadn’t thought the decision through before she made it and she already regretted it.19

  Gouker overheard the call and it angered him. He stepped up behind Amanda and insisted that she call back and cancel the meeting. Gouker shoved the phone into her hand and watched as she dialed. As her manager answered, she explained that she would not be in for the meeting the following day and that her decision to resign was final. As she hung up the phone, she felt herself begin to cry. How had it come to this? Despite Amanda’s pain, a huge Cheshire grin spread across Gouker’s face. Patting her on the back, he was pleased with himself, oblivious and numb to her pain. He’d gotten what he wanted, so he was happy.

  When Trey returned home from work that evening, Amanda was hesitant to tell him that she had quit her job. It was a big change and she knew it might affect Trey in a bad way. As she considered how she would tell him, Gouker broke the news to Trey before Amanda had a chance to do so. Gouker seemed to delight in telling Trey about the course of events, knowing that he would be disappointed by the news.

  Trey and his mother had always enjoyed working together and he was confused by her resignation. They talked about her decision and about Trey’s future at his part-time job. Out of Gouker’s hearing, she told Trey that she would likely try to get her job back. She left the decision up to him of whether he wanted to continue. Trey chose to stay.20 He enjoyed being able to make his own money. He also liked the job but he struggled with Amanda’s resignation. It was the only job he could remember her having and it was a big change. Amanda was proud of him for his decision to continue working. It impressed her that he could stand up for himself when she could not.

  The evening proceeded and everyone managed to have a nice time at the cookout. Amanda tried to keep her work problems out of her mind. It was just too hard to think about. At some point, Gouker disappeared and Amanda felt the sickness return. That job was such an important part of her life. Not only had Gouker forced her to leave it, but he was not helping around the house or contributing. As the sickness turned to anger, Amanda stalked out the back door and in the direction of Cassi’s home where she knew Gouker had gone.

  As she beat on the front door, she heard movement inside. She felt for the knob and pushed the door open, sticking her head into the entryway. Gouker, grasping the door, pushed her out onto the front porch. Gouker disappeared back into the home, shutting the front door firmly behind him. Amanda was left to wait. Gouker had a way of making a person feel wrong or humiliated when he was actually the one acting inappropriately.

  Amanda was left to stand on the front steps while he re-entered the house and took his sweet time in finishing his business there. After several minutes he reappeared, his demeanor changed. They argued all the way back to her house and Gouker reached out, wrapping his hands around her neck, leaving large, red marks. By the time she entered the house, she was crying.

  Trey witnessed his mother’s emotional state and looked at Gouker. Trey was getting bigger and stronger every day and Gouker probably felt threatened that he was in the home. Trey would do anything for his mother and he could not stand to see her upset. He had witnessed his fair share of shouting matches between Amanda and Gouker and he did not like the way that Gouker treated her.

  He asked his mom if she was okay. She said she was. Trey cast a glance at Gouker, shaking his head. He told Gouker to stop making his mom cry. Gouker shook his head and he and Amanda disappeared into the bedroom. When they emerged, everything seemed fine again.

  At the end of the evening, Gouker and Amanda decided to have an even larger cookout the following day. It kept her mind off the drama at work and her personal issues with Gouker. It was good to see her kids having fun and she always enjoyed having their friends over. The more people around, the less chance Gouker would lash out at her.

  During the planning stages the following day, she reached out to her brother. It had been awhile since they last saw each other, so she invited him to stop over for the cookout, explaining that they would eat between seven and eight o’clock. Her brother had always been close with her and her children. However, he did not approve of her relationship with Gouker. It was hard to forget the way Gouker had treated his sister in the early days of their relationship and hard to ignore his more recent mistreatment of her. Amanda was a grown woman and he couldn’t tell her how to live, so to keep it from upsetting him, he kept his distance. But on the evening of May 10, he decided to let bygones be bygones that evening and stop by.

  As her brother pulled into the driveway, he was immediately met by Gouker’s cold stare. Gouker adopted a defensive stance and characteristically puffed out his chest, protecting his territory and marking his turf. It wasn’t until he saw the man exit the vehicle that Gouker realized he was Amanda’s brother so
he relaxed. Then, like a switch, fun-loving, friendly Gouker materialized and he quickly led his brother-in-law around back and into the kitchen.

  Amanda was thrilled to see her brother and stepped forward to give him a hug. Trey, too, seemed excited and immediately came over and began chatting with his uncle. Everyone appeared to be having a great time. Neighborhood kids congregated near the basketball hoop and played a little as the night progressed. At one point, the kids disappeared over to the creek bed and came back yelling and screaming about a huge turtle they had found. Gouker followed them back to the culvert. The cookout appeared like any other across America, friends and family getting together to eat and hang out. The grill gleamed as the burgers and hot dogs sizzled and before long everyone settled down to eat.

  By then, Amanda’s brother was gone. He had injured his hand and it required stitches, so he left to go to the hospital. He would testify later that he had cut his hand on the chain basketball net while playing basketball. However, Little Josh later said that there was no net on the hoop. It was broken that day and Amanda’s brother actually cut his hand on the grill. Nevertheless, he left without eating and, when he was finished at the hospital, he called Amanda and was told it was too late to return.

  As the party wound to a close, Amanda offered Gouker’s cousin Cassi the option of bathing her kids at Amanda’s house. The water was shut off at Cassi’s house, so Amanda knew the kids would be unable to bathe there, but Gouker’s cousin said no to the offer.

  The majority of the guests had already left. Only Big Josh, Amanda, her kids and Cassi’s family remained. Little Josh had already returned to Cassi’s house where he planned to stay the night and play video games. Eventually, Cassi’s family left as well.

  At that point in the evening, Amanda’s kids were busy preparing for bed and she told them to begin their showers. Her daughter took hers first and then Trey hopped in the shower after she was finished. Amanda giggled as she watched Trey emerge from the bathroom with a towel wrapped around his waist. As he headed for his room, the towel gaped slightly in the back, exposing a tiny sliver of his buttock. Amused by her son, she shouted at him to cover his “shiny hiney” as Trey dashed for the stairs to his room. He turned quickly to grin and then disappeared up the narrow staircase.